Goals work against us - Try this method instead for meaningful life

Goals work against us, because it’s always something we’re aiming for, which is in the future.

Try rather the BE-DO-GET method that I tell in the end to use your time wiser.

Lately I’ve been contemplating a lot about success, failure and goal setting.

Goals work against us, because it’s always something we’re aiming for, which is in the future.

We’re holding ourselves from joy to save it for tomorrow, or somewhere in the future, instead of simply enjoying now and here.

So goals are only good, if you enjoy the process of reaching the goal.

As what happens when you have reached the goal?

Nothing.

Nothing happens - okay, sure, you may feel temporary relief and pride, but just until you start thinking about the next goal.

So isn’t it better not to wait for the random goal to be accomplished to start enjoying life?

What if you die tomorrow, and all this time you were just thinking, then, when I’ve reached this goal, I will [insert random activity you actually enjoy].

This sounds entirely hedonistic, as it sounds like I’m saying “don’t do uncomfortable things like running, gym or waking up early, but take it easy and eat chocolate.”

Nope, enjoying something does not need to feel like sipping a cocktail in a hammock.

It’s gotta feel like you want to be in this present moment, doing something meaningful.

Perhaps meaningfulness is better word than joy.

Meaningfulness brings deep, intrinsic motivation to the doing.

For example, I still don’t like running, although I would want to aim for a half marathon.

But why?

To say I’ve done it, to others?

To say I’ve done it, to myself?

There’s nothing wrong with doing things to prove for yourself how strong and capable you are; that actually sounds very meaningful.

The problem nowadays, with all the external stimuli like social media, we tend to think with ego first.

So proving to yourself might still be an egoistic act, and you think of yourself as a better person if you’ve managed to accomplish that, and think that you are cool.

I don’t know why I find this as an issue, as you might be now like:

“yeah, so? What’s your point? Indeed I am proud of myself and I want to show off to others.“

I guess I’m just lacking that deep inner drive to prove to myself.

Would I want to have a blog with a lot of readers? Sure, maybe.

But that motivation mainly comes from the fact that then I could monetize the blog and make a living, not so much that I have an urge to show myself that I can have million monthly pageviews, or to others that I am actually interesting and people want to read my thoughts.

I simply want to write my thoughts down, enjoy the process, and hopefully bring meaningfulness to the ones that resonate with my content.

But if I start from the numbers and fame, it takes all the joy out for me.

I can not know if my words resonate for others or not.

I don’t know if writing a blog can bring money 5 years from now.

I just want to deeply connect with my soul again and let my soul speak, which best happens for me with writing (and photographing and moving and a few other things, as I guess I’m somewhat multi-passionate, yet forced to have only 24 hours a day).

Anyway, the point is: I think the big goals take the present moment joy away.

And why is it a problem?

Because we will not end up anywhere.